beautiful one

"One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, 'Look at us!' So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, 'Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.' Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. When all the people saw him walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him." -Acts 3:1-10

God has used his word over and over to speak to me, as it is fresh and alive, and working in my heart today. i can put myself in each person's shoes in this slice of life, and each one has something to say to me. today, i am John.

i can imagine Peter and John approaching the temple together, perhaps discussing some teaching of Jesus, or what was happening in the world then. they come to enter the gate, a crippled, dirty, lonely man sits, and they continue to talk, ignoring him completely, used to seeing half-heartedly and passing by beggars at the temple gate each time they came to pray. but as the man cried out for money, this time was different.

perhaps they had just had a study on caring for the homeless. maybe they were feeling especially compassionate this day. but as the man cried out for money, as was his routine, they stopped in their tracks.

Peter, inspired by the Holy Spirit, has a plan. he has been given words to say to this man by a holy God, who has seen this man's plight, which was deeper than financial insecurities. Peter begins to see this man for the first time.

but there's John, standing next to him. as Peter commands the man's attention, in my mind's eye i can see him digging in his pockets, desperately searching for a bit of change, or a piece of leftover lunch, oblivious to what is about to happen.

now, i know this isn't scriptural, or probably the way things happened, but God has blessed me with an overactive imagination. and while this may not be true of John, it is so often true of me.

so often, i stand frantically searching for a morsel of food or a small amount of money to pass along to someone in need. i see a problem, and i want to fix it. but by applying a band-aid to a gaping wound and sending them on their way, aren't i doing more harm than good?

while i desire to fix the problems i can see, God desires much more to fix the eternal plight of their souls.

if Peter and John had thrown this beggar a denari and went on to pray, he would still be there, crippled and dirty and damned to hell, each day that passed.

but as Peter really saw the man that day, he was used by God to share with this man how God could fix his problems that were so much bigger than poverty.

God, please hide me behind your cross. shine through me so that others may see Jesus in me, and not myself. give me the eyes to see the world as you see it, and the courage to act accordingly.

Jubilee is Dawning

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations." (Isaiah 61:1-4)

today is an appropriate day to share where the name for my blog comes from. i have always been captivated by the beautiful picture of restoration and provision God gives through the year of jubilee. and God is restoring me in my own "year of jubilee." the time span is much longer than any calendar year, but God's hand is at work, breaking the chains of slavery and delivering me from the wicked one.

my heart bears many scars of the past, some of which own me more than i own them. and sadly, i've wrestled with them for more than i should. God has begun to remove the veil and restore me to what i can completely be in him. where i had nothing but ashes, God has restored beauty.
there are so many words i could say about the scripture from Isaiah concerning my jubilee, but i think they are best left in their original form. my heart has never felt more whole, more complete, than now, reading through those powerful words, knowing God has covered the darkness with the light of His unfailing, neverending, forEVER love.

and that is my jubilee. it is still dawning. praise God.