learning to fly

i've befriended a small red feathered friend. i'm sure he has no clue that i exist, but its very presence has been such an encouragement and blessing for me. each day as i struggle, this cardinal appears in the window to look down upon me and the world in which i am living. his bright color lights up the otherwise black, white, and grey room, and i can't help but smile and press on.

however, my little friend had another lesson in store for me. he and his whole family sat in a tree outside the window and tried (unsuccessfully) one at a time to enter my room through a glass window. it wasn't violent or painful, just a gentle nudging, an insistent pushing against an impenetrable glass pane. and one at a time, they retreated to their tree, to sit and wait in hopes that someone would break through.

i identified with that confused and disappointed family of birds. first, in a grass is greener on the other side thought. i always want what i can't have, think things would be better if God had chosen to make things different in my life. woe is me, my life is so hard, and the if only's begin...

and then i was blown away with what came next. God has blessed me with a world of color in my life NOW. i have more blessings than i can count. if i took a minute to stop and reflect, i would be more than happy where i am. and yet...

i'm restless and discontented. disappointed. frustrated. discouraged. in my mind there is an impenetrable separation between where i am and what i want that i push and push at until i am exhausted. i'm looking at and to the wrong things to satisfy. if i would turn my back to the glass and face my world, what i life i could live.

it's time to stop retreating and start living. no regrets. Lord, help me fly.